Purim, and the Masks Our Students Wear
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by Debbie Niderberg and Elisha Hus
For many children — and adults — one of the most exciting elements of Purim is the opportunity to dress up in costumes. When wearing a costume, or more specifically a mask, one can pretend to be different people and try on different character traits for the day.
Sometimes, however, a mask is used to conceal and hide what is underneath.
But what about the invisible masks that children wear daily in the halls of our schools and classrooms? What are they trying to conceal?
In our 18 years working closely with Jewish day schools and observing students in schools across the country, we have observed the many ways children try to disguise their struggles by donning a mask to hide what is really going on beneath the surface. These masks are a silent call for help, their way of coping. As educators, we need to look beneath the mask to figure out what they are trying to communicate.
A recent case in one of our participating schools involved a fourth-grade student named Emma (not her real name). Emma often acted out, addressing her fellow students and teachers with violent comments, drawing graphically disturbing images, and intentionally shocking her classmates.
Such behavior is often dismissed as a sign that a student is “mentally unfit for a mainstream classroom,” with teachers and administrators insisting that the child find a different framework or school to address their issues.
But the truth is that this child was not mentally ill. Far from it. Beneath her violent speech and “outrageous” behavior, our teacher discovered that this student was compensating for severe learning disabilities, including dyslexia and dysgraphia. Through work with one of our coaches, the school recognized that Emma was an extremely bright student who had been masking her academic struggles with disruptive behavior to compensate and divert attention from the real problem.
Understanding the root cause of her actions helped the school shift its approach from counseling her out of the school to implementing strategies and support systems to help her succeed. Emma was able to remove the mask and thrive in school.
Johnny, another child we observed in a different school, is a third grader who regularly complained to his teacher that he was being picked on by his classmates. After taking the time to observe the child, our teacher was able to determine that the child didn’t have the necessary skills to engage his fellow classmates. With our coach’s guidance, the teacher began creatively working with the child to build up his social cognition skills, allowing him to see how small changes in his own behavior can make a positive impact on how others perceived him.
There are also cases where children are acting out because they are being mistreated at home — again, a sign that a mask is concealing what is truly happening beneath the surface, outside the vision of polite society.
“Behavior communicates and we have to figure out what they are trying to communicate” explains Hollis Dannaham, a learning expert.
Through observing and working with students in the classroom and elsewhere, we can find and embrace the hidden spark within each child and create opportunities for each student to shine. When we find ways to meet the needs of diverse learners, to allow our students to take off their masks and be comfortable in their own skin, the entire class environment can change for the better.
Answering that call is not always easy, particularly for teachers standing in front of a full classroom of students, each with his or her individual needs, talents and sometimes learning obstacles. But the Purim story, full of hidden motives and hidden identities, reminds us to peel back the layers and remove the masks so that we can hear what struggling students are trying to say and help them succeed.
Debbie Niderberg serves as Executive Director of Hidden Sparks. Rabbi Elisha Hus serves as Director of School Services for Hidden Sparks.
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